My mom always taught me not to burn any bridges because you never know when you'll need them. I'm not quite saying I need these "bridges" it's more that I hate that they are broken and I do not know how to fix them. My husband, is an engineer - that's what he does - designs and builds bridges. But, yet even he doesn't have the answer of how to fix these broken bridges.
This isn't quite a hypothetical question. This is a question for everyone out there. All 500 of you that read this. I have hurt a lot of people in my life. I think we can look back and say we all have either intentional or unintentional, but even years later - this hurt it coming back so vivid in dreams I wake up in the middle of the night wondering how to fix these broken pieces.
I have had friends that have come and gone, these friends that no longer even speak when you walk by and that hurts. I'm not that same person as I was then - I am a new person. I was born again on November 10th and when I heard those words on December 15th "raised to walk in a newness of life" - that is what I'm trying to do. Make amends. Figure out what is wrong and fix it. Apologize for what ever I said, for putting myself first, for doing something so badly that I have blocked it out and caused friends to say good-bye to me.
I do not expect the kind of friendships again, but I did love these people and care for them. Acquaintances, yes, keeping up with families, yes, I would love those things, but first I would like to apologize for whatever happened 3 months ago, or 1 year ago, or even 4 years ago. My heart aches for forgiveness for these people and if they had 30 seconds they may see I'm not that immature girl that once was.
So, my question for tonight . . . how to fix broken bridges -perhaps they aren't burnt down - they are just missing a few pieces. I can only pray there is a way. I do know I am not deserving, but I will continue to pray.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.