My Dennis . . . Ready for 2014

New Years Eve . . . .5:00 . . . .Chapel on the Creeks . . .2005 - I walked down an aisle and married the man of my dreams. A lot of people say that, but this is true. I moved to NWA at the age of 21 and knew no one. I had been hired to teach first grade at Sugar Creek Elementary and I bought a house. My little house was all brick, 3 bedroom, 2 bath and it was so special to me. I believe I paid $87,000 for it and it was perfect for me. So here I was moving in and knew no one - but I was ready to be in NWA for the schools - oh and my high school boyfriend of 6 years was in the architect program at the U of A. (There's always a boy, right?) I moved in on a hot, Saturday in July. I remember meeting Dennis and thinking "Wait a minute - THAT'S my neighbor?" He mentioned something about his girlfriend and I dismissed it - for a little while. A few days passed and my boyfriend stopped by to see my house and I introduced him to Dennis. I mentioned to him that Dennis' girlfriend also lived near my boyfriend and Dennis corrected me - he said actually "ex-girlfriend". WELL, let's just say the next day - I had an EX-boyfriend. So, here I am calling home and telling my parents, I just broke up with someone I had been with since the time I was 15, bought a house and haven't even started my new job. Flipping out didn't even begin to describe what they did.

Around September, I worked up the courage to tell Dennis how I felt about it and he told me even though he was broken up with his girlfriend, he was going to stay committed to her. He broke my heart. He didn't date, show any interest in anyone - he stayed loyal and committed.

Meanwhile, I dated - but Dennis was still in my heart. We were best friends, we told each other everything and spent a lot of time with each other. Ate many dinners together, went to church together, you name it - we've probably hung out and spent time doing it. We were the best of friends.
One day in 2004 things just changed. It all happened in God's timing. I am so thankful for the man that God picked for me.

Dennis is the best father for Brighton. He is amazing at putting up with my outgoing personality and always talking non-stop. He is patient, calm, and a Godly man that takes care of our family. He is the leader of our house and shows Brighton just the kind of man she should marry. Here are a few pictures of us eight years ago. I thought this was the best day of my life, but turns out - every day I wake up next to him keeps getting better and better. I got my Happily Ever After with him by my side.

OH! It's New Year's Eve?

Having an Anniversary on New Year's Eve is tricky, so we celebrate both - although I can tell you that I'm sitting here typing this - the ball just dropped in NYC and now Ryan Seacrest and I are the only ones awake. We celebrated our anniversary by going to see a movie earlier this afternoon. Saving Mr. Banks was a wonderful movie. I loved it. This evening we went to Doe's to eat and then we stopped by our good friend Kate and Dave Burris' home to celebrate New Year's with them. As I have written before - we just adore Kate, Dave and Emily&John Friesen. It seems to be nothing but laughs when we get together. The wives all get along, the husbands all get along and the husbands can carry on conversations with the wives. It's a rare friendship to have. But, it is very sacred and special to me. We ate cheesecake, played a little trivia and called it an early night. So thankful for these two couples.

 

Good-bye 2013

I am so excited to say hello to 2014. The year of 2013 just wasn't my year, It wasn't kind, there were mistakes made and bridges burned. I cannot focus on 2013 anymore. In 27 minutes I get to start a new year. My baby starts Kindergarten in 2014. I start 2014 as a born-again Christian. I get to prove to myself, my friends, my peers, and my family that I am a child of God and you will be able to see him through me. 2014 is GOD's year. The focus is not on me. So, let's go 27 minutes - we have a lot to get accomplished. I've been waiting on you.

 

I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I rush and rush until life's no fun. . .

Anyone remember that small part of the the song "In a Hurry" by the group Alabama? If you didn't know, I'm really just a southern girl that loves her country music as loud as I can play it and can be a tad bit of a concert junkie! So, IF you have forgotten who the group Alabama is - let me take you back to the 80's! Come on - you'll be singing along in no time! Plus, I have a point! I'm just getting there! S L O W L Y!

http://youtu.be/CICwZ01bT3w

Now didn't that take you back and wasn't it fun, but also so true. Here's the funny part, I used to sing that song when I was in college when I THOUGHT life couldn't get more rushed between finals and internships and whatever I was stressed about. BOY was I wrong. Now, I listen to that song and smile.

I definitely do not want to be running around trying to beat the clock rushing from one activity to the next, meeting one deadline, or focusing on how there is usually something every night of the week. I want to focus on the positive and enjoy my life and never say this life is no fun.

Bro. Phillip really got me thinking today and had a message I believe spoke to everyone that truly had a heart open and ready to listen.

Here are a few points that really got me thinking:
"Churches exist to get your ready for death". Does anyone else get chills and realize how powerful that message is. We send our children to Awana's, to choir to send for the Lord, we study HIS word and all to prepare us for death. For our glorious Homecoming one day when we this Earth that is not our home. Right now, we are here to serve our Lord, and help share the gospel so that others will be ready for death. What an impact that one sentence had on me today.

We all need to sense God in our lives we need to sit and listen for a a still small voice. That is where my song comes in. If we are constantly rushing and hurrying and hurrying, there is no way you can hear God's precious voice. We must take our the clutter. We must take out the busy in our world. I'm definitely worried about with me does that mean facebook. I would miss so many of my friends from facebook that I have just become connected with through the church so that is very hard for me to see the answer. There are definitely things I can eliminate. There are so many things that I know can wait - even until Brighton goes to bed. But, I don't want to miss out on God's best for me.

I need to look at my life and see what can be destructive in my walk with God. Many times since November 10, I feel alone. I have been praying for a Christian friend - someone like me. It's easy to feel left out when everyone is blessed to stay at home, but that's not me right now. I am in a different place than some of my current friends - not bad - not good - just different. I so want a Godly woman that understands what I have been through in less than 2 months. I will continue to wait and pray until God sends me an answer.

2013 wasn't my favorite year in the books. I have hurt people and people have hurt me. I pray that God will soften their hearts to see that I am not that person any more and soften my heart to learn to forgive and forget.
I want to be remembered for the person I have been the past 2 months. Not who I have been the past 33 years. I now have Jesus Christ in my heart and I want the world to see him shine through me.

What do you want to be remembered for?

My Little Family Equals GREAT Happiness

Dennis and I joke around sometimes about how facebook can seem at times "fakebook". I'm sure you've called it that one time or another. The one thing I want is for this blog to never seem fake so even though tonight I have a cheesy title for my post - there is nothing "fake" about it. Don't get me wrong. . . there are times when I am ready to pull my hair out, but this week of spending time with every family member has been a blessing in one way or another.

Thankful for Safe Travels

Last weekend we traveled to Hope (where I am from) to visit with my 92 year old grandmother. That is all the family I have left down there so I only go down around Christmas. I haven't seen my best friend from junior high and high school in years. Probably in 8 years at my wedding shower and I stopped in Wal-Mart to grab a quick gift and BOOM - there was the only person I would want to see - Jennifer! I am so happy I got to run into her. It truly made my trip. She looks exactly the same - she's the kind of person that glows and lights up and immediately makes you smile the second you see her. She has a beautiful family and I just adore her and love her to death.
(I swear we have 100 pictures like this - but they weren't called "selfies" back then)

We spent the day with my grandmother which is always so special then drove to Little Rock where we spent the night and Brighton was thankful she got to swim for a while. She is like a little fish. She hasn't gotten to swim since September, but I am incredibly impressed with the skills Mrs. Patti Cox has taught her in 2 years. I've already started harassing her for this upcoming summer.

 

We then woke up and went on to Dennis' family in Pine Bluff. We had a wonderful visit with them. We spent time with his sister, her husband, two nephews - Jayce and Cameron, his mom and dad. It was filled with laughs for sure. We stayed for quite some time, went to eat Mexican food and then headed back late. We always do this whirlwind of a trip, but we do get to see Dennis' family much more throughout the year.

 

 

 We packed up and headed for home! I think mommy and B were pretty tired. Okay - really tired!

 

Until Christmas . . . .

As we waited for Christmas to arrive, we baked cookies, Brighton was Mrs. Claus in a play and she spent time with Daddy being home on vacation and took every advantage to sneak off to Grandy's that she could. That child LOVES to be with my mother any chance she can find. She is a Grandy's girl. Finally SANTA came! I really haven't seen Brighton come out of her room much since!

 

 

A Little "Mini-Me"

Dennis had to do a little work this morning so I had the brilliant idea I was going to take the Christmas tree down and surprise him! As I unscrewed it from the trunk and it was loose, I realized this wasn't such a great idea. There I had a 7.5 foot tree dripping water onto my carpet that probably weighed as much as me and there was no turning back now! What did little B do? She grabbed my phone and started snapping pictures! Silly girl!!!

 

 

Can't wait!

As I was sitting here tonight reading my Sunday School lesson I thought how much I can't wait to be back at church tomorrow! We missed on December 8th due to the church canceling because of snow, then on December 15th I was baptized but missed Sunday School because of B having the stomach bug and last week we were traveling around the state! Oh, how I am homesick for our church!

 

See all of you soon!

 







How Many Corners Are There?

Catch-up!

It seems like we have had something every night of the week for the past two weeks, and for that I am thankful - thankful for friends and family, but I haven't gotten to write like I have wanted to. So, it's time to catch up.

My heart is filled and happy and resting!

On November 10th, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  A few weeks later on December 10th, I was baptized. It is just a peace that I cannot explain. I can sleep at nights, if I see a car wreck, I don't have to worry if that was me would I? It's just very different. Yes, I still struggle with questions. I grew up in church. I was there every Sunday, Sunday night and Wednesday night. I taught Awana's. I was raised in an amazing youth group, sang in a youth choir, went to every church camp you can imagine. I have help lead others to Christ, sat and prayed with others when they have been hurting - basically thought I was good - it wasn't until 5 years ago that God began tearing at my heart. So, that leaves me with so many questions. When I was praying my whole life - was he not there? I can tell you the exact place and time I thought I was saved. I can see it like it was yesterday. But, I was 8. I know now as an adult, I wasn't ready and I had to make things right. I am trying not to focus on the questions I have about the past, but focus on the peace I have abou the future. I cannot thank Kelly Stamps enough for helping me the day of my baptism. And, without her husband, Scott, I would not have these amazing pictures.



How many corners are there?

Every since November 10th, I cannot tell you how many times I have been tested and backed into different corners. Luckily,  I have gotten out, but Satan is really trying and testing. I cannot mention into great detail due to I do not know who reads this, but anywhere from total different religions testing me to people who have never wanted to be my friend now wanting to. I can tell you it is hard to find people that are "like" you. I miss out on a lot of opportunities because I work, but I don't see Dennis letting me quit to make friends! :) Plus I love my kids! I love the girls in my SS class - just finding the time to get to know everyone. It will happen.

Friends are Family, too!

I have mentioned Robin before in blogging. I'm pretty sure Brighton views Robin as an Aunt and her son Drew as a cousin. Robin and Dan are wonderful friends and we had a fun family night with them last week. Brighton and Drew even though are 5 years apart - act like they siblings. I think in a way they need each other - to fight with - rough house with and put on cute little shows with. Those two are precious together and it helps since they are both only children. Dan and Dennis talk hunting the entire time and that leaves girl time for Robin and myself. For these friends, you are truly grateful. I cannot imagine being without Robin, Dan and Drew.

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. More tomorrow! Thank you for reading and I love seeing comments!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

What you DON'T Know-But I HOPE you listen

It sounds like a topic that you want to click on immediately. But, I hope that you read this and hopefully it will help you understand something I have dealt with for the majority of my life. I have OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I am not ashamed to tell or educate anyone who wants to listen with an open mind.

Misconceptions

There are many misconceptions regarding OCD. No, I do not use a brand-new bar of soap each time I wash my hands. I do not turn the lights on and off a certain number of times before I can leave a room. I do not check the oven to see if it is turned off 26 times before I leave the house. Yes, that happens to many people, but in very severe cases - that is not me. People who suffer from OCD fall under different categories: washers: afraid of contamination, checkers:repeatedly check things, doubters/sinners: are afraid that if everything isn't perfect or done just right something terrible will happen, hoarders: never throw things away.

Where does that leave me?

I can tell you first, I fall into the doubters/sinners. I have always been a perfectionist - like many of my friends say they are, but mine goes to another degree. I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 22, about the time when Dennis and I started dating. I had been in counseling for some time and finally I took a serious tests and passed with flying colors . . . .full blown OCD. At first I was ashamed, but then I embraced this is part of who I am and if I could educate and change other's perceptions, I had to tell my story.

OCD is a type of anxiety that happens when the brain deals with worrying and doubts. I am constantly worrying of things being out of order or not "just right" or worry about the need to connect to people or why haven't I connected to some people. It is an endless cycle. Many times I will pull away because if I think about it too much, I can go into a panic attack easily. If I feel left out - panic attack. I am constantly telling myself - "everything is not about you". People can have other friends and still like you. It really is sad. If you find me even hinting for reassurance -- it's just the OCD/anxiety talking. People who have OCD sometimes need a brief relief of reassurance.

Since 2004, I have gotten much better and learned many techniques to help with me my anxiety. There are breathing exercises and calming exercises. Yes, I also take 1 medication to help. That is probably the worst thing is one of your friends will say "Have you not had your meds today". It is incredibly hurtful even though they are kidding. Right now, it is something that I have to have.
I am still me. I try to be as thoughtful as I can, loving life, loving my family and try to never meet a stranger. I love making new friends and teaching my precious first graders. OCD does not define me. It hasn't ever or never will.

Winter Wonderland

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

I'm sure you are all thinking - she's a teacher - soaking up these wonderful snow days, and yes, I do love the time with Brighton and even Dennis when he can sneak away, but after Day 2 - this girl can get STIR crazy! I have officially wrapped every present, baked cookies, painted ornaments (thanks Lenette), painted B's fingernails and toenails - TWICE - and I'm sure somewhere along the way found a partridge in a pear tree. It is COLD outside! Here are a few pictures I have snapped the past two days! Look! Even Hemi the OUTSIDE cat got to come in! He hasn't moved in 12 hours or so!

 

Still hopeful!

The roads are still pretty bad. Our Sunday School party was cancelled for tonight which makes me sad. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming and it's been great getting to know everyone. Sunday services are up in the air - which means my Baptism is a possibility of being rescheduled, but we shall see.

Until next time - enjoy the snow and STAY warm!

Out of Control!

My hair has gotten OUT OF CONTROL! My "girl" moved to Tulsa and I am lost! I normally have naturally curly hair, but when it gets this thick it won't do a thing, but look like a huge mess! This is where you come in! I need a new girl, a recommendation . . . basically HELP! My hair needs thinned, trimmed and I usually get a wave put in it to last me through the winter. Someone out there has to know someone. The wave is the tricky part. Trust me, it is so different than a perm! I do not want to look like a poodle. Nothing against a poodle or anything. Here is what I am "supposed" to look like!

 

Now that may not be the cutest look- BUT, I wash it, put some product in and go. It's amazing and it works for me!

 

I'm not above begging!

 

 

Baby It's Cold Outside!

The weather is getting crazy. When I got home from school the temp had dropped to 38 degrees and it was beginning to mist. I sure hope that we don't have to miss work tomorrow or if the weather is going to be bad that decisions are made before it does. I pray everyone is safe on the roads and that good decisons are made and do not go out if you don't have to!

 

Stay warm! 





Tis the Season?

I realize it's "the most wonderful time of the year" as the song states. . . .but man I think I have something every single day leading up to Christmas and some of it isn't even Christmas related. Between keeping up at work, Brighton's activities, and just in general life - I am exhausted and ready to go to bed by 7:00! Judge all you want . . .but try it once and you'll never go back.

I asked you to pray for me in cutting back on work. Whew, the first two days I am feeling it. I want to grab my laptop, pile my school bag, hit the door and work at night, but I didn't and haven't. Monday night I addresssed nearly 70 Christmas cards and sent them off today. Dennis kept asking "Do we know this many people?" Yes, dear. So, I find myself rushing around during my break times, but really I am a more effective teacher because I can't say to myself, well I'll do that tonight at home. I can feel the difference. I took a picture as I left yesterday as I thought of all of you praying for me to leave work on a "normal" time. Here is your proof.

Before addressing all of the Christmas cards, I have to tell you, Dennis was down on his back and I was helping Brighton with her homework. Her homework last night was to practice writing the letter J, both uppercase and lowercase. We always do this the kitchen table, but for some reason last night we were out of routine. So she climed up in bed with me and here we go.

Here I am gently trying to explain how to write her "Js".

 

I'm still explaining the "Js" and B is doing flips on the bed. (This is why I teach first grade)

 

Insert Brinkley our dog because now he wants to join in all of this fun! (SIGH)

 

Finally we finish and everyone can smile again! WHEW!

 

 

 

I wish you all knew Brighton and her personality. Well, I guess if you truly know me, you know B. She loves to be in the light and the center of attention - MOST of the time. She likes to be noticed and recognized for her good. She is incredibly sensitive. She gets her feelings hurt very easliy and takes EVERYTHING personally. She is very much a realist and believes everything she hears. She LOVES to perform. All of these qualities are mine and they are also hers. We share these things. I signed up tonight to support my amazing school -Central Park Elem. by reading at Barnes and Noble. Just look who stole the show. Hint - NOT ME!

 



 One Last Thing! I have a favorite store that I found about 6 months ago! I now HAVE to make a weekly trip and I promise if you have not been to Post Alley at downtown Bentonville, you are missing out! It is right across from Pressroom. Grab a girfriend or two and spend an hour! Tell Missy I sent you and you will just be lost in this tranquil shop. Trust me! It's amazing. You can also find the store on Facebook - just search Posh Alley and you can get a glimpse of this unique little shop. MY fav!

 

Have you been? What is your favorite store? I can't wait to hear your comments!